Yesterday, I was listening to the
Fat Burning Man Podcast hosted by the very able, Abel James. (sorry, had to). My wife turned to me and asked, "...are you going to obsess about this stuff again?" I answered a quick "Yes" and neither one of us said another word. To her credit, I have the tendency to go OCD on whatever it is I am interested in. Over the past few years there have been a few subjects that have attracted my attentions. None of them hold a candle to how I obsess about fitness and nutrition. Before I continue about that, let me give you the backstory.
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| Circa 2009-2010 |
If you take the time to search through this blog, you will be able to deduce that a few years ago I was really into fitness and nutrition. I logged every meal, counted every calorie and macronutrient. I was religious with my workouts, updated my logs and maintaining my macronutrient ratios. My wife liked how my physique was changing from an overweight and old 37 to a fit and energetic young dad. She did not, however, enjoy how my tendency to obsess over things made me rigid and inflexible within other aspects of my life. As luck has it, I was laid off from two different jobs in two years.
I will freely admit that I am not a model person. I can be selfish, childish and would most likely be diagnosed with some kind of emotional abnormality if I were to succumb to a test. I have had serious self esteem issues centered around my body, my situation in life and my financial outlook. Since my lay-offs, we decided it made more sense for me to stay home with my kids and play Mr. Mom. So as to not drag out this story, let me just say that what I became over 3 years was not the kind of person I was proud of. I was not the kind of person my wife wanted to have anything to do with and I am pretty sure my kids were not real keen on my recent personality flaws.
This brings me to my undiagnosed and unofficial OCD. When my wife asked me if I was going to be obsessed again, about my fitness and nutrition, it got me thinking. At first, I could see her point. Now she was going to have to deal with me forgetting to do simple things around the house or neglecting the kids because I was buried up to my Lats in nutritional data. Then I thought about it again and reflected on the recent information I had absorbed through
Abel James's Podcast. Not only was I learning about a new way to eat (much of this information I knew already, but I needed to learn again) but I was also learning about becoming a better person. The lessons discussed by Abel and his very knowledgeable guests were covering myriad of different subjects related, but not limited to fitness and nutrition. There is an underlying theme in there that is very very subtle. It is about becoming happy with yourself. I have never been happy with myself.
Somehow, I have extrapolated this theme from these Podcasts.
Being happy has always been an issue with me. I have never been happy with my body, my job, my finances and my family. But recently, I think I am learning more about myself and analyzing it differently. I am thinking outside of that very tiny box containing my brain. I have always considered myself to be a creative mind, but in all honesty I have been very rigid and unable to change. I am learning that the ability to manipulate my reality is easy and can be done without substances. I don't need to have a drink when things get tough. I don't need to have junk food to make myself feel better. I simply need to change the way I think about thinking.
Believe it or not, I learned this from listening to a health and fitness Podcast. I don't think Mr. James intended on this result - at least not primarily. So, when I think about whether or not I will obsess about my fitness and nutrition - I will answer, NO! I will, however obsess about being a healthier human being - mind, body and spirit. It is all connected and must work together moving forward. This is the natural way - the Paleo/Primal way. Thanks Abel.
Fitz
